Heaux Tales FOR REAL!

Updated: Sep 15, 2021

Jazmine Sullivan was trending after posting this statement on her story: "Tell me a secret you'll never tell your partner."

Before I jump straight to the point, I'll say this: AND TO THINK I'M OUT HERE DEFENDING ALL OF YOU!! Yes, all of YOU AIN'T SHIT!! Whether you're secretly messing around with his dad while you're f*cking him (be right back - because my vomit nearly SLIPPED out of my mouth. This was also the SECOND most popular response for this damn story post), or enjoying a 17-year long marriage while simultaneously maintaining a 14-year long relationship with your side piece, you're the fuckboys my mother tried to warn me about. Meanwhile, half of you probably look wholesome as hell but are playing your man for a WHOLE FOOL.... Real G's move in silence like lasagna, HUH?!


For real, why are you telling Jazmine Sullivan all of this? And on Instagram? You are BOLD for being for this open and honest on a platform that spreads information like wildfire. We're old enough to realize this information doesn't go away, right? At least, I figured that most of us heard about this during every school assembly on cyberbullying. Meanwhile, we're over here exclaiming that men ain't sh*t, n*ggas ain't sh*t, and that men have turned into b*tches that don't know how to provide. But you're also embarrassing him... To Jazmine's TWO MILLION+ FOLLOWERS... DAMN SIS!

To be fair, I don't know everyone's relationship situation. Who knows? Maybe they were on a break, and next thing she knew she was pregnant by someone else. But she genuinely thought it belonged to her boyfriend. And maybe the men and women who are sleeping with their mothers/fathers-in-law, well, also found out that their significant other was up to the same thing?... Okay, nevermind. If that were the case, why are you still in that relationship? Like, I'm aware that when our hearts are hurt, logic flies out of the window... But, if I was in that situation, that'd be the dealbreaker between me and my partner. Oh, and my family, too... I'm pretty sure that's more than warranted at that point.

Anyhoo, back to the rest of these confessions!

Even though it was all jokes, I really did start thinking about how we're over dealing with another man's bull sh*t. But we became so tired of dealing with so much bull sh*t, that we've turned into the men who broke our hearts. We became grimier because there wasn't any reasoning with someone else who was intentionally hurting us. The only difference between today's, our mothers', and our grandmothers' eras of love is that we're encouraged to leave. We have the ability to get out of any shitty relationship, but some people just decide to stay because it's easier... Or because revenge was something they were looking to accomplish. Either way, we've successfully internalized all the small d*ck energy we've allowed into our bodies... And now, some of us need as much therapy as we prescribe to the men who have hurt us (*hard slurps*).


I guess everyone decided it's time to beat these men at their own game. Like, did I miss the memo? Or am I too wholesome of a person?? And am I actually a fool for deciding to believe in the possibility of meeting a good guy? I can't be the last woman on Earth who wants to genuinely build with a trustworthy and HONEST man one day... who has great d*ck, makes money, thinks for himself, and is actually funny, right?? Because up until recently I thought I was one of many. But is this a sign that we're more rare than we're led to believe? Is it possible that I am.... the last Black Unicorn? Or is it a memo to let go of this dream and find a more realistic one? They say part of reaching success is knowing when to give up.... I don't know, though. Maybe I'll let ALL these ghetto ass red flags from the streets slide until an even bigger one pops up.

Don't get me wrong. I've had some interesting men in my life. However, I REFUSE to allow anyone else's beta male status to mess up my vibe. I'm going to continue being a champion of good energy and pum-pum. The only difference is that now I'm getting smarter about who's actually worthy of experiencing it. Because when you're a good person with a good heart, you're going to attract a lot of negative and crazy people. That's why you have to setup booby traps for when people get too comfortable and try to step all over you.


If anything, this thread proves not to allow someone to feel too comfortable around you. Protecting yourself isn't being selfish. It's a prerequisite to allowing anyone into your life so intimately. Because you belong to yourself before anyone else. That's the best piece of advice a friend who's slightly older once told me. Putting yourself second shows other people that it's okay to treat you as an option. If I'm agreeing to a relationship with you, it's because I trust you.

That being said, I hope you've enjoyed my TEDx Talk for the week! All in all, be a heaux but don't be a heaux who's wrecking someone else's life. Until next time.

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